Non-Acrophobic Mercy

Hello, my name is Trish, and I am a recovering acrophobic. 

(Hi, Trish.)

Today - well, actually for the past four days - I climbed up a 22' scaffold, stood on a platform there for three hours, then climbed down without incident. 

(Polite applause.)

I will be continuing this routine for the next two days, taking a break, and doing it ten or eleven times after that throughout the next month. Thank you. 

(More polite applause as I sit.)

There may not be a real Acrophobics Anonymous (fear of heights, for those who don't know), but my current height-encountering sessions make for pretty good immersive therapy! See, a while back I agreed to run a spotlight for this show my roommate is stage managing for (CCT's Les Miserables), and THEN she told me that I wouldn't be in a nice little balcony to do it... nope. This show is taking place in the Mt. Helix amphitheater, and it wasn't until move-in that I discovered that I would be twenty-two feet in the air every night. Now, I'm the kind of person who freaks out going up ladders. Two years ago, going up in a cable car had me white-knuckled and breathing heavily. (For more examples, see my previous post entitled "Trust Fall".) I've been working on overcoming this fear gradually, but this spotlight gig has been the ultimate test of my trust in God, human architecture, and steel cables. I'm usually okay with the height once I've been up on the tower for a couple minutes, but climbing up every evening is probably one of the scariest things I've ever done. The first few times, we didn't even have safety cables on the way up and down! We had to clip our harnesses in once we got to the top and unhook them before we climbed down! As of last night, we can now go all the way to the ground with our new (and longer) fall cables (YAY!), so it's a little less scary to make the climb. Still though, every time I get halfway up, my muscles start tensing like nobody's business and I have to really concentrate in order to force myself to climb the last few rungs without panicking. Tonight when I got back from the show (opening night was tonight!), I went on Facebook and a friend of mine had posted this verse as her status:

"He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:10-12

What an amazing verse! Of course, it's always been great, but this part especially stood out to me in light of my circumstances: "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him". Do you know how high the heavens are above the earth? I have no idea what the exact distance is, but I can tell that it is a freakin' HUGE gap. Twenty-two feet off the ground feels like a mile when you look down over the edge, but when you look up you realize the sky really hasn't gotten any closer. To think of how many feet up the sky is melts my brain a little. And to think that the ENTIRE space between down here on earth and up there in heaven is comparative to the depth of God's MERCY... wow. That's a whole lot of grace right there. Seriously, think of the highest place you've ever stood, think of how far away the sky was, and imagine God's mercy filling that whole space. Absolutely incredible. 

That's basically it for this post. Just revel in that incredible depth. 

Below is a shot of the show taken from near the top of the amphitheater! My tower is that little platform at the very top right of both pictures. If you look closely at it in the lower image, you can barely see my silhouette to the left of the brightly lit music stand (which is holding my light cues)! #CCTLesMis

Sinking about...

Okay, first of all, you need to watch this video. The rest of the post won't make sense without it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmOTpIVxji8

I never get over how funny that is! Mostly because when VISION went to France in May, we had a German translator for half the trip, and sometimes our languages got a little jumbled. Aside from the funnies though, in all seriousness, this touches on some pretty deep stuff if you have a philosophical brain (thanks for that, Fred!) and an affinity for language. Let's go back to the phrase that cracks everyone up... "What are you... sinking... about?" Obviously, the humor lies in the fact that "sinking" and "thinking" are indistinguishable to this poor German kid. When you think about it though, how often is that true in our lives? How many times does our (as my old Psych prof used to call it) "stinkin' thinkin'" lead to the literal sinking of our emotions, our attitudes, and even our spiritual lives? According to the Bible, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22 ESV)" Therefore we are told to "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:2 ESV)" The only way to get rid of the thoughts that bring us down is to turn to God and align our thought pattern with His. Or, as it says in Romans 12:2, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (ESV)" That transformation can only come through Christ. At the same time, though, it is our duty to allow ourselves to be transformed, and to purposely change our own stinkin' thinkin' to become more like Jesus. "Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 1:13 ESV)" We must prepare our minds, but it is is setting our hope on God's grace that allows us to carry on. I urge you, keep watch over your thoughts today. When your mind starts to wander, make sure it's only wandering up. And, as Paul said so well in Philippians 4:8,

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (ESV)"

So... what are YOU sinking about? 

Mudslide

I have a really bad habit of pushing away from God when I am at my worst. Whenever I sin, I always feel like I just rolled around in a big mud puddle and don't want to stain God's nice clean white carpets by entering His presence. And even when I hose off in the backyard first (repentance), I always feel like I've still got some mud on my shoes that I might track in. I figure I should walk around a little bit first, let the mud dry, then track through the grass a few times to try to brush any remaining dirt off... and then MAYBE I'll be okay to hang out with God again. Of course, then I'll look all funny because I was muddy, then drenched, then sun-dried... maybe I should just wait it out for a while longer until I feel like I'm really good to go. Y'know? Unless I trip in another mud puddle before then...

Do you ever get this way with God? When, even after repenting of sin, you still feel like a scumbag and try to avoid His gentle presence so you don't somehow taint His reputation? That's my go-to MO, and you may have noticed that I've posted on this MULTIPLE times already. It never really seems to sink in, though - or rather, it'll sink in for about a week, and then it falls out of the back of my brain somewhere. I found this passage interesting though, and I think you should take a look...

(God talking:) "'Because of the iniquity of his unjust gain I was angry, I struck him; I hid my face and was angry, but he went on backsliding in the way of his own heart. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him and restore comfort to him and his mourners, creating the fruit of the lips. Peace, peace, to the far and to the near,' says the Lord, 'and I will heal him.' (Isaiah 57:17-19, ESV)"

Look at that one glorious phrase right there in the middle... "I have seen his ways, but I will heal him." Despite the iniquity and backsliding mentioned in the beginning of the passage, God relents from his anger and "restores comfort", bringing peace and healing. What a relief to those who are backsliding! Despite our faults and failures, He still loves us and desires to restore us. I really have no words of wisdom for this post... just the image of a pure, perfect God shaking His head at a mud-covered lil' rapscallion and bear hugging the heck out him or her despite the filth. I don't understand it, so stop listening to me and just go read that passage again...

"'Because of the iniquity of his unjust gain I was angry, I struck him; I hid my face and was angry, but he went on backsliding in the way of his own heart. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him and restore comfort to him and his mourners, creating the fruit of the lips. Peace, peace, to the far and to the near,' says the Lord, 'and I will heal him.' (Isaiah 57:17-19, ESV)"

Be at peace. 

Drum roll please...

For those of you who read my blog about my recent mission trip to France (trishasfrancetrip.blogspot.com), you may recall that I posted a teaser at the end of my last post about finding out more about my next adventure soon... and I am happy to say, the time has finally come to reveal what that adventure is!!! If any of you are my Facebook friends or have seen me in person recently, this is old news, and I'm sorry it's not more exciting... but for anyone who doesn't know, I recently received an email informing me that I have been accepted onto the Rancho Sordo Mundo (RSM) staff for this upcoming year!!! Yes, this is the same place that I ranted about in the last two posts. I am going to be a missionary there for the next two years, minimum, starting in September! :D There's my big announcement! Now for some frequently asked questions...

Q: When do you leave for Mexico?
A: August 30th

Q: Where exactly is this place?
A: It's near Ensenada, in the Guadalupe Valley. There are lots of vineyards surrounding the ranch, so it's one of the more upper class areas of Mexico (i.e. perfectly safe).

Q: Do you need to pay for rent or anything?
A: YES. As this is a missionary gig, I'm going to be relying on donors for my upkeep. It costs about $450 dollars a month for room and board, internet/phone/PO Box use, etc.

Q: Can I support you?
A: Yes please! Of course, prayer is my primary request. If you would put Rancho Sordo Mundo and myself on your prayer list, that would be fantastic. If you can though, financial support would also really help. Any donations to support me can be send to the address below. Checks are the best way to send me support (so we can keep track easier), and all donations should be made out to Berea Baptist Mission. (And hey, if ninety of you donate only $5 a month, my expenses should be covered!)

Janet Grobstein

PO Box 340
Tecate, CA 91980

Q: How long will you be there? 

A: The position requires a minimum of two years. If God wants me to stay for longer, that's cool too... we'll see what He says when the time comes. :) As it is a school, I will be living and working at the ranch from September to early June, but I should be home for the summer months. 

Q: How many/how old/from where/what kind of kids are there?

A: There are typically 30-40 students between the ages of 5 and 18. All except for the few staff's children are either deaf or hard of hearing. As there are very few resources in Mexico for the deaf, many children come from all the way across the country to attend RSM. 

Q: What will you be doing?

A: My official position is assistant teacher. I will be living in the girls' dorm during the first semester for sign language immersion purposes. Also, one of the staff directors there mentioned the possibility of my either helping with or heading up a sort of drama club, so that the kids could learn pantomime dramas like the Lifehouse "Everything" skit! 

Q: Do you already know sign language?

A: Nope! I know a few words and phrases in ASL, but not nearly enough to hold a conversation. In addition, the children there are using Mexican Sign Language, so it's completely different from whatever I learned in the past. I have been studying MSL training videos though, so I do know several signs by now. The rest I will learn simply by being around the kids full time. 

Q: Do you know Spanish?

A: Yup! I'm not totally fluent, but I can converse with very little difficulty. I took four years of Spanish in high school, including an honors course, and I got to brush up on my skills during VISION's trip to Spain last year. Regardless, all of the staff speak English, so it won't really be necessary in everyday life. Although they did mention possibly sending me to a local youth group to increase my fluency... :)

Q: Will I be able to contact you while you're in Mexico?

Yes! I will still have internet (although I've been told that it's agonizingly slow), or you can send mail to the PO Box listed earlier. I will also be posting about my adventures occasionally, either on here or on a new blog which I may or may not create specifically about RSM. Haven't decided on that yet, but I will let you know when the time comes. 

Q: Where can I learn more about RSM?

A: Click HERE to go to their official website! You can also read about the adventures of one of the current staff members at jasonatrancho.blogspot.com. 

Q: What if I have a question that you haven't addressed?

A: Please post any questions or comments below! I would be more than happy to answer any questions you have. :D

Thanks so much for reading! And I'm really sorry it's been so long in between postings, haha. I'll try to update more often... no, really, I already have one post in the works! So, tune in next time for a word on mercy! And remember, God made you special and He loves you very much. :)